FUCK YEAH CANADA

For Chris.

Mayor Rob Ford calls police after ambush by 22 Minutes actress

ROB FORD *FART NOISE* SADTROMBONE.COM

(via hockeypants)

elevators:

This is a phone conversation with CBC Radio’s Stuart Mclean, edited down to just Stuart’s fake stutters.

I don’t know if there’s a point to this. It’s not good to say “uh…” on the radio, so sometimes y- y- you gotta s- stutter. Plus it- it… well, it makes your… speech sound more sentimental and… and heartfelt.

(via garethsimpson)

garethsimpson:

From the “Only in Canada” department: something that is neither English nor French gets printed in both English and French.

tableclothcape:

• ‘Canada’s largest city,’ couched in terms that imply the Rest of Canada is utterly dependent on and revolves around Toronto, “the locus of Canadian X,” “the centre of X,” etc.
• ‘HAVE WE TOLD YOU ABOUT MULTICULTURALISM?’
• ‘Let us compare ourselves to New York at almost comical length,’ though the Greater Toronto Area is three and a half times as small and roughly half the size of Chicago
• Unironically, ‘Canada is full of elites! Just look at all those elites!’
• ‘We elected an incompetent mayor and his insane older brother! Woe is us! Why aren’t you pitying us for the officials we democratically elected?’
• ‘BUT SERIOUSLY, DID WE TELL YOU ABOUT OUR MANY DIVERSE COMMUNITIES? LET US REPEAT OURSELVES, JUST SO YOU HEARD.’

tableclothcape:

• COLD
• ‘despite popular belief, it is a place that exists’
• SO COLD
• ‘heart of the continent,’ ‘geographical centre of North America,’ ‘incredible geographic isolation’
• SO VERY COLD
• violent crime, ‘murder capital of Canada’
• I-I CAN’T FEEL MY LEGS ANYMORE
• slurpees
• CHRIST ON A CRACKER WHY WOULD YOU EVEN BUILD A CITY HERE
• Winnipeg Jets
• DON’T YOU SEE THIS IS GOD’S WAY OF TRYING TO KILL YOU

Goodbye, Jack. (via Vancouver is Awesome)